Misery of the Devil
by Lady Russell Sprouts
Summary: Do villains deserve happy endings or do they deserved to be punished? Warning: There are no happy endings here. Rated MA for sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

...

* * *

Chapter 1

Misery of the Devil

Kylo Ren was a bad man.

An unworthy man.

A man who'd given into the seduction of darkness and stayed even when truth and light were gifted to him. In the years living in that darkness, he'd found comfort and a truth that soothed his tormented mind. The darkness whispered assurances and promises. It never asked him to be something he was not. It would never break and mold him into something he could never be. It promised truth and power. It whispered answers to the desires of his heart. He did not want or need anything else.

When the light had come to find him in the form of Han Solo, he did not hesitate to destroy the messenger. His father was now a corpse hidden in the depths of Starkiller Base for daring to shake his resolve.

There was nothing to shake.

Ben Solo had died long ago and in his place was Kylo Ren.

He reveled in that darkness, that power.

But as was the way of the force, when Kylo Ren rose to power, a competitor rose with him. He was appalled to find a scrap of a girl meeting him in the heat of battle. His pride was wounded. Surely, he deserved a more fearsome opponent.

As the battle in the forest waged on, she met him toe to toe and strike for strike. The war they waged on each other went on longer than Kylo Ren had anticipated. They fought until he grew frustrated. He had been too hasty in his judgement. A terrible thought blossomed in his mind as he saw those vulnerable hazel eyes.

If she grew to trust him, he wouldn't need to strike her down . If she grew to trust him, the battle would already be won. The honesty in her eyes told the truth, she could never kill someone she cared about. She had waited with bated breath for parents who would never want her back. How much longer would she wait for someone who pledged his love and loyalty?

It wasn't that Kylo Ren had mercy for the girl. It wasn't even that he had grown fearful of losing. He merely wanted to relish the downfall of his opponent. She had meaning on his journey to greatness. It wouldn't do to dispatch of her so easily. No, victory is always so much sweeter when he could take everything from his enemies. How much sweeter would it be when she could not draw her lightsaber against him?

The darkness gave a snarled smile of approval. So he offered to be her teacher in the heat of battle. When she had declined so fiercely and scarred him beyond recognition, he wasn't unfazed. In fact, he smiled in the darkness of the woods as she sped away toward the lights of the Millennium Falcon.

* * *

She was exactly what he needed.

He assessed his opponent well. She had crumpled in the hall of mirrors at the truth of her parent's abandonment. She had questioned and defended him against Luke Skywalker. She had sent herself across the galaxy at first chance to save him. Her defeat was well in hand.

In the elevators, her earnest eyes had met his own as she declared his victory over Snoke. Her words stroke his ego like a caress. He hid a smile and with a few words turned her vision against her. Everything was going as he planned.

But as her body floated upward at the command of Snoke, her cries of misery and pain continued to echo in his ears. He found he could not look at her tearful eyes. He hoped Snoke did not break his opponent. He still needed her. Something stirred in his chest as he avoided the eyes that begged him to do something. Anything. He did not, but the feeling thrummed in his chest like a panicked hummingbird. The darkness frowned in dismay.

He found relief at last when she crumpled to the ground. Snoke was done with his prey. The blood pulsed loudly in his ears as she lay unmoving. His master's voice drone on without any meaning until one of her limbs twitched.

Kylo Ren was ashamed to admit that he relished in the death of his master. The girl's death and defeat was promised to him. He would not hesitate to extinguish whomever dared steal that right from him. As Snoke's body lazily slid onto the floor, she looked at him with purpose and suddenly that shame melded into nothingness.

As they moved together in harmony against a common enemy, he was offered a different answer to his torment. Where he had become weak, she had become strong. Where she had failed, he had succeeded. They had become two parts of one moving whole. Their purpose was one and the same. It wasn't until the fighting had stopped and the light of the sabers had been sheathed, that he allowed himself to consider the woman before him.

Clothed in gray and shadowed in death, he found her beautiful. The breaths whistled in his chest as he admired her. A new humming had begun within his chest.

However, looks were deceiving. In the next moment, her sweet voice dripped with light and truth. Placating and persuasive, a perfect counter to the promises the darkness had whispered for years. In answer, he grew angry at this small betrayal.

He shouted in rage. She didn't understand. No one ever did.

He had underestimated her and he would not do it again.

* * *

She was what he needed.

The meaning in those words had changed for him. They became vital as the world around him whirled into mist. For once, he did not revel in the chaos.

The projection of Luke Skywalker. The escape of the last of the Resistance fighters. Her decision to leave him behind...again.

Her gaze never left his own as those doors had closed with a haunting finality. Something shattered inside his chest and would not stop weeping. Even now as he stood at the helm of his newly inherited fleet weeks later. The whispers and promises from the darkness could not staunch the longing, the hope.

And that was where he had failed. Her soft spoken words had evoked thoughts and feelings. Her eyes had gleaned with hope, a physical reflection of her side of the bond. She had tugged and pulled down the tether until his chest reverberated in echo. A mere seedling of hope. That was all it took.

He scoffed even as the weeping continued at the memory of her.

Kylo Ren's resolve hardened. He would use this experience to learn. He would no longer bow before anyone. He would no longer be weak.

He did not acknowledge the line of men waiting to speak with him as he turned toward the door. He was late for a meeting.

With heavy steps, he tugged on the bond that bound them together. He did not enter his quarters. Instead, his steps led him into the interrogation room. And there she stood. Despite everything, she had come.

The weeping stopped.

* * *

Rey was the first to speak, "Is there a reason you chose this meeting place?"

He waited a heartbeat before answering. "You know that everything I do has a purpose. Let's not waste time."

"What more do we have to say to each other?"

He ignored that, "I've had trackers following the movements of the Millennium Falcon for a week. It's only a matter of time before I stop playing this game with the Resistance."

"Do you not have an ounce of compassion inside you? What of your mother who is aboard the ship?" She said as her eyes hardened.

"Why run from the inevitable?"

She scoffed and he let the silence be answer enough. His gaze trailed away from her face as he let his words sink in. He felt the touch of her gaze moving from his eyes to the set of his mouth. Again and again she followed the trial until something seemed to shift in her stance.

"What is your price for mercy on the Resistance?" She finally breathed.

His eyes swiveled to hers and he tried not to grin. The opening he had been waiting for.

* * *

It was easy to escape the notice of his soldiers and pilot a small ship to their agreed location. It was easy to drink in the sight of her waiting form.

No words were said as they walked through the door of the hut together.

The fierceness he had encountered in her before was gone. In its place was a nervous young woman fiddling with the cloth of her top. He waited patiently for her to look at him.

"You may begin when you are ready," he instructed.

Her eyes dimmed into blank resolve as she began to undo the closure of her top. He did the same as he considered the situation. He knew how she would interpret his answer when he had given it. With the heat in his eyes and the tenor of his voice, she could only come to one conclusion.

The darkness relished in this new plan to overcome his enemy. Victory did not always have to be blood and death. Defeat was a feeling, one that she would feel every time she thought of him.

But the bond vibrated angrily in protest. It thrashed and twisted like a desperate animal within his chest. It told him it was wrong, what he had asked of her was wrong.

He ignored it.

The battle waged within him as he allowed the woman before him to whore herself out for the Resistance.

Her fingers had trembled but they had remained purposeful until she stood nude in front of him. He couldn't stop his eyes from widening as inch by inch of smooth tanned skin unveiled itself. She took a tentative step toward him until they were a breath away. Kneeling, she undid the buckle around his waist until until his cock came into view. She gasped at his length as he throbbed and hardened within her hands.

He let out a breath when her fingers brushed against the cockhead. Encircling his shaft, she started to tug until precum leaked from the tip.

"Lick it." He ordered as the precum lengthened like a dew drop.

Holding his gaze, she opened her mouth and flicked her tongue with the barest touch. A cat lapping lazily at a water spout. Each swipe came from a different angle until he had been teased to the limit.

Grasping the hair at the nape of her neck, he directed her mouth onto his shaft. Eyes fluttering, she sucked him into her mouth with soft pulls. He groaned at the sensation. Holding her in place, he allowed her to work him as she wished. A soft lap, a sucking slurp, she pumped him with her mouth until her jaws ached.

A plea in her eyes, her fingers found his at her nape and she tugged her lips away from him. They were both breathing heavy as he drew her up and she continued with her undressing of him. A soft gasp left her lips when the chest she was so familiar with was unveiled. When the last of his clothes were flung away, he draped his naked form against hers. Something sizzled in the air at the contact.

He groaned impatiently and his mouth found hers. She rubbed against him as he devoured her mouth. Tugging and licking, he couldn't stop taking until she pushed away for breath. He licked at the seams of her mouth for another invitation. She turned away in refusal but he found the pulse throbbing at her neck. He tugged with teeth and swirled with tongue. He was ravenous.

He backed her into the wall of the hut. His consuming kisses left a wet trail down her collar bone. He avoided the peaked rosy tips as he found his way toward her mound. Raising her leg over his shoulder, he considered the moist heat inches from his face. His hot breath brushed against the wet folds and she shivered.

She was so wet for the man she was supposed to hate. He smirked at the evidence. Her folds blushed and dripped with honeyed liquid. Using a finger, he slid into her depths until he could reach no more. She clenched around him immediately, a rush of honey coated his palm. Her fingers tangled within his hair as she whimpered above.

Removing his finger, he dove for the weeping cunt. Her clit throbbed against his tongue as he flicked the little bud. She squealed as he suckled her with sharp tugs and slow rolls of his lips. Unknowingly, her hips undulated on his mouth a synchronized rhythm to the way he devoured her. He watched the struggle on her face as she tried to hide her pleasure behind clenched teeth and muffled moans. Her hands were in his hair, tugging at her breasts, and covering the sounds from her mouth.

His hand was still drenched from her juices as he plastered them against a full breast and worked the turgid nipple between thumb and finger. She shattered against him, shuttering.

Removing the leg against this shoulder, he caught her before she fell to the ground. Pulling her toward his chest, he lifted her legs with his other arm and walked toward the bed. Gently, he set her down offering small kisses on any inch of skin he had not laid claim to. Soft but steady he aroused her body again.

He watched the clarity in her dispassionate gaze grow as she realized that the transaction was not over. Their gazes held as he lips left the erect nipple, wet and sensitive from his teasing. His lips found hers again as his hands guided her into a new position. She obeyed, allowing him to arrange her on top. Straddling his legs, she rubbed cautiously against his hard length.

His hips responded, pumping his cock against her wet folds. She jerked at the sensation, shock registering on her features. He continued his slow rocking against her clit and settled his hands on her hips. A restraint. She held herself still trying to ignore the sounds that became wetter as both their hips rocked. A mimic to what would happen soon. He relished in the way her breathing deepened and her eyes grew hooded. But he was only so patient. His hips stilled and her eyes opened in confusion.

"Ride." He directed, letting his hands fall away.

She looked a little lost as he handed her the reigns. Her gaze was conflicted at the crossroads they had come to. It had to be her choice to complete the transaction. He would not use physical force.

Her eyes dimmed as she grabbed his cock and slipped him inside. A muffled groan escaped him as she seated herself fully. He watched those breast quiver as she rotated herself in a slow circle trying to get used to his size. Then, she started to ride.

He gritted his teeth as she worked herself on him. She rocked slowly as if unsure of her movements. She bit her lip when her hips had tugged her too far and his cock rubbed too deeply. Placing her hands on his chest, she lifted herself and pushed back down. A whimper left her. She clenched on him, milking his cock. He grinned at her indecision. No matter how she moved, she couldn't escape how much pleasure he brought her.

He eyed the little pebble beneath her folds, now throbbing with blood again. His thumb found the little pebble and rubbed. She gasped above him, her hips responding on their own. Rocking, pumping, swiveling in circles so his thumb put more pressure on her clit. She moaned as her pussy clenched on him with every flick of his finger. Her hips moved faster until her climax hit, drenching his cock.

He groaned as she milked him. Unleashed, he shifted his hips underneath her and started to move. She gasped pushing against his hips to still him. But he did not. He pumped tugging his cock in and out. Overwhelmed, she stiffened as another climax hit dropping onto his chest. He couldn't stop himself, he came inside of her, spilling hotly. He pumped his hips even after his orgasm had finished trying to lodge himself as deeply as he could inside her.

He kept her against him until her body had gone limp. As she slept, he slowly eased her into his arms and breathed her in.

* * *

Her eyes were always defeated as they met again and again. The days rolled into months as the line between winner and loser blurred. Limbs locked and bodies writhing against each other, it was easy to forget the reason for the arrangement. Settled into each other's warmth long after the act of sex, it was easy to pretend that this relationship didn't have strings. But inevitably, those moments always ended.

She always left first and the stink of shame followed her every step out the door. A pang of loneliness always haunted him as he watched her go. It permeated the air as he sat in the darkness reliving the memories of what they had shared. Twined with that loneliness was the guilt of what he had done to the woman he was learning to care for.

With every soft sigh and every trusting touch, it was becoming harder to remember that she was the enemy. What was the elaborate plan to make her pay for betraying him? Why did he need to punish her? He couldn't remember why it mattered. He just wanted to undo all of it and erase the look in her eyes when she saw him for what he had made himself: the villain in her story.

He couldn't see her face this time as she laid her head against him. Sweat dripped from her brow onto his chest. The coolness a contrast to the warmth of his skin. She was quiet but her nipples peaked against his side in temptation. He closed his eyes trying to remember this moment before she left today. The scent of sex that permeated the sheets and their skin. The wet trail on his thighs and juices still drying on his cock. Today had been slow and languid. The first time she had been playful, wanting to explore more of him. She had brought him to the edge over and over again before he had stopped the play by flipping her onto her stomach and plunging his cock deep into her. He could still remember her pleasurable cries and that special way she would keen when he swirled his hips against her.

Her head shifted against him, a small tongue lapping at his nipple. He stiffened, surprised she wanted more. Delaying the inevitable.

Her tongue continued to play against his hardening nipple as another part of him lengthened. Her hands were eager, tugging on the length until he throbbed impatiently. He shifted, placing her below him as he addressed her neglected breasts. Arching her chest, she offered him everything he wanted. He ran his teeth against the turgid edge and offered a soothing lick when she whimpered in discomfort. Suckling steadily, he tugged on each nipple until she became restless beneath him.

"Please, I need it." Rey murmured, finding Kylo's lips.

He obeyed, dragging his cock through her still drenched folds. He couldn't help himself, he plunged his fingers into their mixed juices and rubbed her favorite spot. She gasped against his lips but rocked her hips until she spasmed against his hand.

Rey pulled away to catch her breath and he nuzzled her jaw with light sucking kisses. He grinned against the marks of ownership that dotted her neck and shoulders. He slid into her sensitive flesh and they both groaned at the joining.

Raising himself up, he rocked against her and enjoyed the way her breasts swayed with the movement. He especially enjoyed the view of him plunging repeatedly into her little cunt. Only he felt the tender way it squeezed and sucked at his cock. He groaned again as he saw the bliss reflected on her face.

Her attention shifted to the glistening fingers at his side. She pulled his hand into her mouth, her gaze unwavering. He moaned at the erotic picture in front of him. She licked their juices off of his hands while he fed his cock into her wanting pussy. He couldn't take it anymore and placed her legs into the crook of his arms deepening his thrusts. She gasped at how deeply he penetrated her. Her favorite position.

"Oh, Kylo, don't stop," Rey whimpered placing her hands on his chest.

He pumped against her with hard, rough thrusts. Grunting with every movement, he pounded into her until the only sound in the room was her cries and the wetness between their thighs. She started to keen against the broad expanse of his shoulder as he swiveled his hips, embedding himself as deep possible. Her body stiffened

"Come. I love the way you milk my cock." He ordered against her ear.

She obeyed, quivering and drenching him with her juices.

She lazed in his arms as long as she could after two more orgasms. When the time came to leave, she did not hesitate to take the pills he always brought to the hut. She did not look back when she left. He was the only one who had regrets. But it didn't matter. He would take anything that she would give him. Her body in exchange for a few less lonely nights, a few stolen moments within her presence. Kylo dare not ask her for more.

* * *

The air was tense this time as they lay in each others arms. She had long stopped telling herself she was protecting the Resistance, that she was forced to come here. He had stopped telling himself that this arrangement was part of some elaborate plan to hurt her, that their meetings meant nothing to him. This wasn't a battleground anymore. It was a lover's hideout.

His hands were smoothing through a tangled curl when he felt her start pulling away. He let her go.

Her fingers were deft as she dressed not meeting his searching gaze. When she was done, she did not move from her perch on the chair, her eyes on the shoes by her feet.

"I can't see you anymore, " She finally said after long moments.

"Does the life of the Resistance seem so little to you?" He countered.

"Kylo," She scolded turning toward him.

Stubborn eyes met stubborn eyes.

"I know you will not harm the Resistance when I walk out of this room for the final time." Her eyes softened first. "You don't want to hurt me anymore."

"That doesn't mean I won't do whatever it takes to keep you with me." He countered, sitting up.

"Yet you won't ask for anything more," she accused.

He kept silent.

"You only need to ask. You know that I will say yes." She prompted again, her eyes hopeful.

She let out a defeated breath at the answer in his gaze. Her eyes were glossy as she picked up the heavy boot. Before they knew it, he had knelt in front of her and pulled her chin forward.

"I can't take anything more from you." He breathed at last.

"It's not taking if I give it to you." Her voice broke as the tear finally slipped down her cheek.

He shook his head. He'd already taken too much. She just didn't know it. She hadn't known the depth and depravity of his plan. He pulled her in for a final kiss.

The words were familiar and had been passed between the two of them before. It was a conversation that had happened too often and the results were the same. They were on two separate mountains screaming into the void. No matter what they each said, they just couldn't seem to hear the meaning behind the words. No matter that the force had bound them together through that void.

The words pulse inside his chest, the heaviest weight. Just a few words, maybe a silent request.

_I love you._

However, his lips did not move. He remained still despite the chaos in his veins begging her to stay. The silence was deafening as he watched her walk out of the door one last time. She did not look back.

Kylo Ren was a bad man.

An unworthy man.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thank you for everyone who stuck around for this tragic story. Sorry for the pain and tears but I just had to get it out of my mind and move on with my life. Blame Jaymes Young for his beautiful and angsty songs "_Moondust_" and "_I'll be good_". For me, the Reylo ship has never been a particularly happy ship and this story is one of the bitter outcomes I've always pictured for them. So again, thank you for reading and I'll be eating my feels right along with ya'll.


	2. Chapter 2

**Pre Author's Note: **Get ready to have your heart broken.

* * *

Chapter 2

The Devil Gets His Due

She loved the feel of his hands on her skin. Strong and a little calloused but always gentle as he laid claim to her body. She could always feel him in a way she had never felt the physical world around her. A tug on the bond that bound them felt more real than the lightsaber in her hands.

"Come with me" he urged, bringing her toward the front of the ship.

Dazed, she followed.

Being led toward the deck, she noted the empty room as the doors slid closed behind her. The controls glittered on the console. Something beeped on screens as he sat in the commander's chair and settled her on his lap. His fingers danced across the keyboard until a map was projected on the large screen in front of them.

"The First Order now owns these territories," he began, lips trailing against the skin of her nape.

Her eyes were drowsy as they danced across the planets and galaxies that were depicted onto the screen. She held her breath as another panel zoomed out to include more planets, a galaxy. The First Order had seized control of thousands of territories, and planets. They had control of millions of people.

"As Supreme Leader, I own these territories," he continued, pausing until she turned to meet his gaze. "And I offer them to you."

Her head tilted in confusion, brows scrunching, "What do you mean?"

He let out a breath undoing her hair with his gloved hands. Watching her hair fall onto her shoulders, his hands settled onto her hips. When he looked at her again, his eyes were earnest, "As my Queen, you would own these territories. You would have the power to make new rules for you and your friends. You could make it safe for them."

Rey jerked away in his lap but his hands were steel around her waist. She closed her eyes feeling a stab of pain. Once again he offered her the world but that wasn't what she wanted from him.

He pulled her closer, kissing the new trail of tears sliding down her cheek.

"I can't live without you" he confessed in a whisper.

He missed her, she knew. She was so tired of fighting with him. It had been a long and weary road this past year. He hummed in agreement through their bond.

Weak, she pressed her lips against his desperate ones. He groaned against her lips as their mouths met and tongues clashed. Heat rose as he nipped and sucked on her lower lip. He ran his hands against her body, tugging and ripping until the air kissed her skin. She rubbed herself against him, hips rubbing between his thighs, chest pressed against his chest. Her nipples ached in the cool hair, begging for attention.

His lips nipped at her chin, leaving a trail of kisses toward her neck. She shivered when he bit the skin of her neck and shoulder. His lips laved at the bite, sucking until love bites bloomed across her skin. Grinning against her pale flesh, he moved toward the puckered tips of her breast. Her hands tangled in his hair as his tongue rasped against the erect tip.

Head raised, she moaned clutching his lips against her sensitive skin. He sealed his lips around the skin and sucked steadily, tongue flicking and swirling the hardened nipple in his mouth. She was breathless when he tortured the other breast. Uncontrolled, her hips gyrated in his lap until she felt him throbbing below her.

With a pop, his lips disengaged from her heaving chest and guided her off his lap. Her legs were unsteady as they both stood. He pivoted her to face the screen. Hands never leaving her body, they wandered, heating skin that had been untouched for too long. It craved his touch.

He moved her hair away as his lips found her shoulder. His hands disappeared to remove his clothing but soon found themselves searching her body again. His hands traveled down her body, plucking a nipple before trailing between her legs.

She gasped when his fingers found the engorged clit. His fingers circled the button twice before finding a drenched pussy. A hum of approval whispered across her neck as his fingers worked her toward the precipice. Her hands urged him to go harder, to go faster tugging on his hair, pushing at his thrusting hands. All too soon, she shook against his tall and broad frame.

Her head was still spinning when he took a step back letting the cold air touch her back. The chair creaked as he sat and pulled her toward him. He was hard against her buttocks, throbbing and demanding attention. He settled himself between her legs, rubbing between her lips before easing her down. A strangled moan left her lips as she slid onto his shaft. He was so deeply seated inside her.

Breathing hard, she tried to balance herself on his knees. He grunted, displeased before pulling her back onto his chest. She whimpered as he slid even deeper and pushed her legs to straddle his own. The cool air lapped at her engorged clit. She was open. If someone were to see them now, they would see how her juices drenched his balls. They would see the way his long and thick cock pleasured her with measured, deep thrusts.

Breathy embarrassing sounds escaped her lips as she writhed on top of him. She swirled her hips against him, loving the way he stretched her open. His hips were punishing as they bounced her with upward thrusts. They were so deeply connected. A visual representation of their bond.

"Please Rey. Rule the galaxy with me" he demanded, thrusting harder.

Her body tightened like a bow string as he pummeled her pussy the way she loved. A wail rent the air as she clenched around him. Milking his shaft, she pulled at his cock until he groaned loudly in her ear.

She lay limp against his chest as he spent inside her.

* * *

Rey was still shaking, limbs weak when she jerked awake in her bunk. Her pants were drenched. She didn't need to look to know that his cum would coat her inner thighs.

Even as she shook, she spoke first. "You need to let me go."

"I'm finally asking. Isn't that what you wanted? I'm here. I'm asking" Kylo replied, looking just as weary.

She didn't want to look but her body never obeyed when it came to him.

There he sat on the bunk across from hers, leaning forward with his hands crossed between his knees. He was dressed impeccably in his sleeping clothes but he looked tired. Dark circles lived beneath his eyes and they had grown since the last time they had seen each other.

"It's too late. The time has passed and we've both chosen our paths" she explained, sitting up to mirror him.

"It's never too late."

She scoffed, "You say as you order more troops to launch after the Resistance."

There was silence as they both recognized the truth in her statement.

It had really been a dream. Another lie he had shown her through their bond. Kylo Ren would never give up his aspirations of ruling the galaxy.

"Do you still carve the days on the walls?" he asked suddenly.

Her head jerked toward his before quickly looking away. "A childish habit. One that no longer applies to me."

He ignored her.

"How long has it been?" He turned and gestured toward something to the right of him. His fingers traced something on the fringes. "400 days since we last saw each other in person?"

She turned away from him. "It doesn't matter. Tomorrow I'll see you on the battlefield and we'll be enemies again."

"You just have to-" he began vehemently but she cut him off.

"Do not make this my fault!" she screamed, getting to her feet. "All I've ever asked, all I've ever wanted from you was one thing."

She paused when she saw that she had his attention.

"Do you love me?" she asked, trying not to sound like she was begging.

In the silence, she looked away unable to bear this rejection again. She could hear his clothes rustling as he moved. The air shifted behind her.

"You already know."

When she looked over, he was gone.

Legs weak, she fell onto the mattress beneath her. Why was it so hard for him to say the words? She had said them a hundred times in a hundred ways. Three words. She needed to hear it from his lips. No one had ever said them to her. That was all she wanted from him. She would leave everything behind. The Resistance, the Jedi, defeating the First Order, paving the future. All of it.

She shifted to lay on the mattress and stared unseeing at the unused bunk above her. She would always be thankful to her friends Finn, Poe, Rose and the Resistance. They had given her purpose and a meaning to life. They included her in everything. However, they could never understand the loneliness of being a force user. While they created battle plans to take down the First Order, she was shut aside to train. On more than one occasion, she had watched from a distance as they all laughed together over missions she couldn't go on. Always on the outside looking in. She didn't want to be alone anymore.

A tear slid down her face as her eyes focused on the scratch marks on the bunk above her. Her finger trailed the most recent addition passing over the hundreds of other marks. Kylo was correct. It had been 400 days.

It both touched and hurt her to know that he counted the days as diligently as she. She missed him dearly but tomorrow would define their future. Even as he coerced and persuaded her to become his Queen, the First Order had never given up an attack on the Resistance. He would never stop.

It made her sad.

He made her sad.

This time was really goodbye. Finn had brought her something yesterday. She had found a way to tune out his summoning.

* * *

She should have learned her lesson.

Kylo Ren never entered her dreams without a reason. Today was not the first time he had manipulated their bond with dreams and sweet words. He only came when the First Order was ready for an attack. And this time they had brought the entire fleet.

Adrenaline thrummed in her veins and flowed with every heartbeat as she ran toward Finn. They needed to evacuate the premises. The Resistance's plan to draw out the First Order was working. They had less than ten minutes to bring what they needed and load the ships.

"Rey, we've gotta go" Poe urged, running past her toward the pilot's deck. BB-8 rushed right behind him.

A moment later, the engine ignited and the ship was ready for flight. Finn smiled at the frazzled Poe before turning toward her. He held out his hand and she smiled.

Before she could reach out to grab Finn's hand, something yanked at the bond within her. Her hand shook before going toward her stomach. She was going to be sick.

"Rey, are you okay? What's wrong?" She could hear Finn's anxious voice above her.

Through blurred eyes, she saw that the ship was starting to float off the ground. Something was wrong. She shouldn't be able to feel him anymore.

Another pull and she fell to her knees. Breathing hard, she tried to concentrate as her hand landed reflexively at the lightsaber around her waist. He wasn't supposed to be here with the first set of enemy ships. He had come for her. They had not planned for this.

"He's here. You guys need to go." She managed to breathe.

"I can't leave you here," Finn argued, looking like he was going to jump toward her.

Rey managed to stand again and gave him a wobbly but confident smile.

"You're not leaving me. I'm just going to distract him away from the ships. Pick me up on the other side of the falls."

Poe made an urgent noise behind Finn and the ship lurched under his feet. He reluctantly took a step back toward the door and believed her lie.

* * *

The force connection didn't always tell the truth. She learned this the hard way as she watched him glide across the clearing toward her.

Kylo Ren was excessively tired but he was also excessively angry… at her.

"Did you think your little trick would hide you from me?" He hissed as the lightsaber ignited in his hand.

"I didn't think about you at all." She taunted trying to pivot him away from the ships.

She didn't even need to try. All of his focus was on her.

He chuckled at her words. "We are one, a dyad in the force."

She couldn't hide her reaction. The words ignited relief and a sense of pain. They were one. But just as quickly, she steeled herself against his words. She hadn't forgotten the events from the morning.

"You're lying."

His eyes softened. "I would never lie to you."

Face flushing red, she struck first. His words enraged her. He never lied but he always omitted the most important information. Three words. Just three words. They echoed in her ears like a phantom.

The red and blue of their lightsabers clashed letting loose sparks but she continued to strike. It infuriated her more when he didn't attack. Instead, he moved and shifted in defense of her thrusts. Pushing with all of her might on the next downward swipe, he fell at her feet.

The blue of her saber shone against his face as she brought the wand against his neck. Something dark called for her to make the killing strike. Kylo's eyes widen as if hearing the voice too.

Her hands shook in indecision. They breathed deeply, both staring at each other. Both at crossroads.

Rey's hand lowered an inch before she felt a jarring pressure at her side.

"NO!" she heard Kylo shout before she fell to the ground from the blast.

Falling onto her knees as something wet soaked through the garment at her chest, she watched Kylo Ren behead a red-haired man.

She hurt everywhere. Every breath was an effort to pull oxygen into her lungs and push carbon dioxide out. It had only been seconds but she couldn't really feel her limbs. Her body was shutting down. Why was she so wet?

It was a struggle but she brought her hands to her face. There was blood. So much blood.

* * *

Once there was darkness and sense of completion.

But when Rey opened her eyes, color flooded her vision. The blue sky opened up before her and the world was so quiet. She felt so tired. Could she just lay here for a few moments more?

A breeze blew by and she could feel how cold she was. Why was she so wet?

She jerked forward as she remembered what was at stake. Her eyes searched the clearing and found the headless body several feet away. Turning, she found the slumped figure clothed in black. Two lightsabers at his side.

Kylo Ren lay still and unmoving. A certain peace on his tear stained and bloodied face.

She moved toward him, confused and unbelieving. A tortured sound she didn't think she was capable of making escaped her. In her arms, his body was cooling. Her body was so tired and sore but there was something worse happening inside her. She couldn't feel him through their bond anymore. The bond was gone. She was empty.

Her visions blurred and she pulled him against her chest. Sobs wracked her body as he continued to lay there unmoving.

"What have you done?" she asked him over and over while she sat in the clearing.

Alone.

_In an alternate universe…_

He eyed the woman who had just walked in through the doors of his coffee shop. Her brunette hair had been pulled into triple buns behind her head. Unusual but effective for showing off her sharp features. The curves of her body were hidden under her overcoat but he could see the soft curve of legs leading up toward her hips. Slim and curved.

Her eyes remained glued to her phone as she stepped toward the counter. Toward him.

"Two large black coffees, please" she ordered in a polite but distracted voice.

"A rough morning?" he asked.

He had this desire to make her look up, to make her see him. What color were her eyes?

"The worst," she chuckled, pocketing the phone.

Her eyes were hazel, he thought to himself a bit stunned. His palms started to sweat and he could only grunt in response.

Her eyes were playfully as she scanned his name badge.

"Ren? That's a cool name."

He smiled. "I have cool parents."

Her laughter ignited a warmth inside his chest.

He couldn't help asking, "What's your name?"

She paused, eyes twinkling, "I'm Rey."

"Like ray of sunshine?" he asked intrigued.

"Yes!" she exclaimed enthusiastically. "That's the nickname my parents gave me. You're the only person I've met who has been able to get it right.."

Ren and Rey smiled at each other in understanding. It was rare that they met people who were so easy to talk to. They both paused, waiting for something to happen.

But Rey's phone went off in her pocket and the moment was broken. She winced at him but took the call while he finished ringing up her order.

"Babe, where are you?" She murmured into the phone.

He could feel himself deflating. She was taken.

"They'll call your name outside when your drinks are ready" he told her, passing her the receipt.

She gave him a thumbs up with a goofy grin on her face.

He smiled despite himself as he turned away to start the drinks. She went outside to meet her fiance.

And the bond that should have bound them together was absent.

* * *

**Post Author's Note: **Can you imagine my surprise when I watched TROS and found the same ending for a story that's been marinating in my brain for months? Disney and Lucasfilm, I would like some financial compensation. In all seriousness though, this is the original ending I had wanted for Misery of the Devil but it was taking too long to get to the ending and I was getting emotionally exhausted bleeding onto a word document. This was the new ending where I planned to end this miserable series but I couldn't in good faith leave you all in pain. A happy ending must be had so onward to a better tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

...

* * *

Chapter 3

Sehnschut

Rey could hear the woman crying in her dreams.

She was always crying.

Rey carried that woman's pain like it was her own and it was exhausting.

Her dreams carried visions of this woman in so many different lives. There were dreams that seemed out of this world. Sometimes her eyes were yellow with darkness while she carried the pain of death like an oozing wound. Sometimes she sat old and alone in a hut overlooking an island while strange looking creatures cleaned the huts surrounding her.

There were other dreams that were actually pleasant. The woman would wear a wedding dress while she kissed a handsome man in a pilot's uniform. In another, the woman was elderly and dancing slowly in the arms of an African American man. Their wedding rings glistened in the candlelight while their caregivers watched in envy.

But every dream had something in common. Even when the woman smiled at the partners who loved her, her gaze always moved away to search the crowds. What she yearned for she could not name but she knew she'd never find it again and the pain of it would fill her eyes.

When the dreams ended, Rey woke to tears that drenched her face and a miserable longing for that something the woman had looked for in so many different lives. After particularly bad dreams, ones she couldn't even remember, it would take days to recover and resume her normal life.

Rey didn't understand why this woman haunted her. She hadn't done anything in her life to warrant this kind of punishment. Hadn't she been through enough?

Tears gathered in her swollen eyes as she tried to hold herself together. If she closed her eyes, held her breath and pretended she was being held together in darkness, sometimes the worst of the sobs would pass.

Rey let out a weeping breath but the tears had stilled underneath her lids.

The couple sitting next to her stared at her uncomfortably. They shared a look before scooting further away from her. Well, as far as the seats would allow. Try as she might, Rey couldn't help feeling amused by the situation. A pariah even within the tight and enclosed space of the plane. She could only imagine what she looked like to the couple. A sniffling young woman with wrinkled clothes and bags underneath her eyes. A young woman with problems, problems the couple didn't want to be involved with.

_Don't give strangers that power over you_, she could hear her father chide in his brogue. _You know who really loves you_, he would add with a silly smile.

Taking a steadying breath, she put on her headphones and listened to her playlist. Closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing, she let the music carry her away. As always, she pictured the place that brought her the most joy. It was a green landscape that filled her vision. So much green in all the world.

Rey smiled.

* * *

The fourteen hour international flight had gone as awkwardly as expected. The couple flew from their seats as soon as they could. Rey waited politely for the rest of the passengers to leave before grabbing her luggage and exiting the plane.

_Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished_, her mother would intone the Lao Tzu quote when a younger Rey would huff in impatience.

Those quotes seemed to be all that she had left of them. She'd been adopted by her parents after spending years in the foster system. Despite the technicalities, they would always be mom and dad to her. Her parents had been the definition of average. An average couple looking to raise an average child toward an average future. Average was good. Average meant stability. Something that Rey never had until that point.

Last year they died while vacationing in Scotland. They had gone to visit their homeland before they married and moved to the west coast of the United States. It was supposed to be the beginning of their travels in retirement but it had been their last. All it had taken was an unstable car and a turbulent rainstorm.

She had come to Scotland to be closer to their graves. Maybe to stay. She had nothing left tying her to California. Unconsciously, she fingered the space on her left hand where a ring should have been.

At thirty, Rey had become a fair and kind individual due to the safety and stability her parents had provided. They had hoped that she'd have a stable and happy life despite her sad beginnings. There had only been one thing they couldn't expel from her life.

The woman who haunted her dreams.

* * *

The dreams had seemed to come more frequently as her departure date for Scotland neared. Her pillow was consistently in the wash after she slept. Her eyes were so swollen she could barely see in the daylight. Sometimes she didn't sleep. The yearning had been palpable as she tossed and turned in her bed.

Sehnsucht, her ex-fiance, had called it. He had been a linguistics major at the college when they met. Languages had come easily to him in a way that had always amazed her.

"Zan- what?" she had asked in confusion, pulling up the movie they had rented onto the TV screen.

"Sehnsucht," Hux said again, this time slower as he headed toward her on the couch. His perfectly arranged ginger hair bobbed with sure moments, his blue eyes distracted. "It's a German term that roughly translates to an inconsolable yearning. A wistful longing for something that cannot be explained."

She adjusted herself as he molded himself to her side, placing an arm behind her head. She didn't say anything when his hip dug into her stomach. Their bodies had never fit together well but it had felt nice to have a warm body so close.

Sometimes it helped keep the dreams at bay.

Rey contemplated the new word over a few kernels of popcorn, "So I have zan-shook?"

"Sehnsucht," Hux repeated, slightly irritated. "Babe, leave the languages to the experts."

She stiffened at his words and the tone.

Noting his error, he apologized before placing a quick kiss on her forehead.

"I haven't been sleeping well so I'm just more irritated these days," he explained, smoothing the cashmere blanket around them.

Rey immediately felt bad. "I haven't been keeping you up, have I?"

A pause. "No, of course not. Work has been on my mind, that's all."

"How is orientation with Pam going?" Rey asked, trying to be polite.

"Phasma." He corrected her. "She's doing great."

The conversation ended as Hux's cell phone rang. Pulling away from her, he reached for the phone and eyed the caller.

_Speak of the devil_, Rey had thought to herself, recognizing the woman's professional photo flashing across the phone screen. Wondering why he was accepting a work call during the weekend, she had watched as Hux left the room and left her to watch the movie alone.

Upon reflection, Rey should have known. It had been something in the way he said the woman's name. Something in the way his strawberry red brows had furrowed before smoothing quickly. When he had asked for the ring back, Rey couldn't find it within herself to be mad. When the invitation had come in the mail months later with gold lettering entwining their names, Rey couldn't find it within herself to be sad. When that woman had walked down the aisle in her tall, beautiful and blonde glory and he placed the ring on her finger, Rey couldn't find it within herself to feel anything at all.

The dreams, the misery, the longing all felt like a punishment. A punishment that had bled into her life until the woman's misery was becoming her own.

The only people she could call family were gone.

The man she had wanted to marry didn't want her anymore.

She had no one. She was alone.

What had she done to deserve this, she contemplated as she laid under the comfort of quilts and blankets.

Sometimes she just wanted it to end.

* * *

There was blood. So much blood.

Heavy, burdened footsteps inched their way into her dimming vision. The world tilted as he pulled her into his arms. His warmth battled the chill that was overtaking her. A barely-there-tug echoed inside of her as if he was gently testing that she still lived. His hands rose to place pressure on the bleeding artery but they hovered in despair. There was nothing to hold. The wound was merely tendon and broken rib bones. Her heart beat stuttered in its cage.

She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. All she had wanted in this life was his love. She couldn't utter any sound. Instead, she tried to focus her eyes on his face and let out her final breath.

The world whirled around her as she became weightless and Rey stood in the middle of the clearing watching as the man hovered over the crying woman's corpse.

Kylo Ren's howl crushed her spirit, a banshee's cry in the darkness that encroached the clearing. Her name was a chant on his tongue, summoning her back to life.

"I love you," he confessed. "I couldn't say it before but-"

Overtaken by a sob, he pulled the corpse closer as if his heart could share its secret. The thump thump thump of his heart beat a coded message about his love for her. It was unfortunate that she could no longer hear it, that she would never know.

A whisper of the bond that bound them together echoed in the air surrounding Rey. She could feel it unraveling. The weight holding her spirit to the meadow started to lift and she could feel herself pulling away.

His body stiffened as if registering the break inside of his own soul. Pulling away from the corpse, he looked around. The tears stopped as panic set in.

"Please," he begged the nothingness around him. "Bring her back."

He looked down at her pale face, his body trembling in misery. At the emptiness that filled him as her end of the bond untethered itself.

"I'll be good," he promised looking into the eyes of her corpse. "I've never deserved you, Rey but I will be good to replace all the bad that I've ever done. I would give anything so that you can live."

Shadows enclosed the clearing and a tense silence held the meadow after his declaration.

_Anything?_ the darkness whispered across his consciousness.

"Yes."

_A life for a life. That is all that is within my power._

"Anything." He repeated in a dead voice.

_You break laws with this covenant, young Solo. You will be punished by those even stronger than me._

"I don't care. As long as she lives."

Rey's heart pounded as she watched Kylo's form slump not a moment later. He held onto her until the end. The darkness left the clearing as soon as the bargain was struck. A dark cloud that had rolled past the burning sun. The corpse twitched as Kylo's body cooled but Rey did not return to the body. Instead, she watched as the woman from her dreams opened her eyes, saw the body of her dead lover and wailed. The same sound in every dream. The same recognition that something inside her had been erased.

* * *

Rey had woken in her room on a broken wail. Shaking, she had sobbed until she could not breathe, until her brain felt like it would explode from the pressure.

For a week, she'd been in Scotland. For a week, she'd woken from the same dream. The dream she could never remember but left her melancholic.

This time she had remembered and it tore her apart. None of her tricks had worked-closing her eyes and pretending to be held, the green landscape that always centered her. None of it. She had felt like she was falling apart.

She grimaced in embarrassment remembering how the Bed and Breakfast owners had broken down her door. The sweet Scottish couple had stared at her in complete confusion. She was alone. No one was attacking her as they had thought. It had only taken a moment for the situation to register before they both jumped into action. Holding Rey close to her bosom, the wife had murmured motherly nothings and held Rey until she shushed. The husband had gone to make her some tea with a splash of whiskey.

Thankful and embarrassed for their attentiveness, she had offered to pay for the broken door. She left when the sun rose and hadn't returned. Instead, she had opted for a walk across the lush landscape, letting the Scottish moors lead her where they may. She walked in any direction away from people, needing peace and quiet. She had walked until the landscape had dimmed as the sun began to lower in the clouds behind her.

Unease took hold of Rey as the sun set and no trail appeared in front of her. She wasn't someone who could not navigate. She was sure she had come this way. The lights of the town blinked mockingly through the trees. Huffing in irritation, she walked faster, estimating that she only had one mile left.

She let out a breath of relief when she spotted the familiar stone wall. Using it as a guide, she felt safer as she passed several gates leading toward the farmhouses outside of town. Her pace slowed. She found herself outside the gates of an abandoned castle. Confused, she glanced at the terrain around her. How had she ended up here?

She didn't have time to further her contemplation as storm clouds rolled in and immediately drenched her clothes. With a yelp, she fled toward the front door of the castle, not noticing the way it closed softly behind her.

Shivering, she took in her surroundings in the front hall. A single lit candle sat on the table stand.

Who had left this candle here?

She tried to calm herself down as she grabbed the candle and illuminated the archways littered with shadow and cobwebs. A scraping caught her attention and grew louder as she passed the rooms that looked like the kitchens. Glancing around her, she confirmed that she was still alone as she approached stairs leading down into the heart of the castle. Maybe it was a cat who was wandering in the shadows looking for food. It was a kitchen after all. She had seen plenty of stray cats padding along on her walk this morning.

Soft crying echoed from the stairs.

Rey froze.

A chill ran down her spine. The sound was more pronounced in the silence of the keep. Piercing in its pain and misery. The flame on her candle went out as if a soft wind had breezed by.

This couldn't be happening. She couldn't be hearing the woman right now. She was awake. The sweat was clammy on her skin as she waited and hoped this was all a dream. But as sure as she could feel her heart beating in her chest, she could hear the woman's cries. She could hear it echo up the steps in soft lapping waves.

She had finally gone crazy, Rey decided. She'd finally snapped and was experiencing a psychotic break.

Rey was terrified, inhaling the smoke from the candle in panicked gulps of air. She needed to get out of here. She needed to get out of this darkness.

The cries continued and ended on a wail. On the final note, a blue flame ignited on the first step of the stair.

Rey took a step backwards and the cries began again but louder, almost deafening. She was going to faint. Light-headed, and in the midst of a panic attack she tried to find something to focus on.

The blue flame flickered and drew her attention.

_Come_, the blue flame beckoned.

Rey didn't realize she had taken a step forward until she noted the silence within the castle's walls, illuminating the soft pitter patter of the raindrops outside. Everything seemed to have quieted as she had come closer. The blue flame now at her feet. Stepping forward onto the stair, a second flame lit the next step.

Lulled by its silent song, she followed.

When Rey reached the bottom step, the flames disappeared. In the darkness, she stood calmly until she felt a tug forward. The first step off the stairs led her into a cave hidden under the castle. Large blue flames ignited over a well and illuminated the walls. Carvings littered the walls in a language that seemed familiar but she could no longer read.

As she neared, the flames flickered purple around the edges. Curious, she came toward the flames and found that they did not emit any heat.

_Come_, it beckoned again.

Rey could not disobey. She reached into the fire and did not burn. Instead, the purple flames engulfed her and poured into her a warmth she had been without all her life. She closed her eyes and savored the feeling, worried it would disappear.

_Yearn no more,_ she felt something whisper across her consciousness before opening her eyes.

Stunned, she could only stare. The cave carvings, the flames and the well were all gone. A man stood before her, whose hand engulfed hers with a possessive heat. His dark eyes glowed in the pale face framed by long black locks. A dark prince had materialized before her.

"It's you," He breathed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This chapter was for everyone who needed therapy after TROS. As a community, we have to support each other and this is how I will support you. Here's to Reylo, a ship that has carried us through so many years.


	4. Chapter 4

**Pre Author's Note: **An Epilogue to end our journey of misery.

* * *

Chapter 4

Saudade

The same eyes in different people.

He contemplated the old words of a wise woman from a past life. The smile on his lips was bittersweet as he remembered Maz. A small and spunky being who dealt truth and wisdom. She had been one person he hadn't seen again in his time of penance.

Ben pulled Rey closer in his arms and studied the relaxed features of his other half. Her hair had turned a light brown in their lives apart but those stubborn brows remained intact. The shape of her face had also changed, become more heart shaped with the beginnings of a widow's peak. If they had walked past each other in this life, he would not have known it was her. Even in the underground cave, he'd been confused. In the end, it had been her eyes that captured his attention. Those hazel eyes haunted him.

When she had died in his arms, he'd been desperate, willing to give anything to correct the wrongdoing. She was the light banishing the darkness in his soul. How could they take away the person that made him good? In his desperation, he had only wanted her to be alive forgoing all other thought and reason. He couldn't bear the thought of living without her and had made a mistake that had cost both of them. The bond had been unwoven and it split their destinies in all dimensions.

A dyad they had been and it had been erased for a millenia. A thousand lifetimes without her. That had been the price for invoking a covenant that broke the laws. He closed his eyes and tried to bury the memories. It had been agony.

A solitary prison cell in the darkness for those years would have been a mercy. Instead, he'd been forced to live a natural human life where he would never meet the other half of his dyad. Over and over again. Encountering his parents, old friends and old rivals from his past but never seeing her. The worst part was that he remembered all of it.

Once they had recovered from the events at the abandoned castle, what Rey had told him turned his blood cold and filled his stomach with stone. The consequences of his actions had in turn also punished the woman he loved. She did not remember anything and even now she did not have a full grasp on the gravity of what had occurred under the ruins of the castle. Instead, she had yearned for him in dreams and half-lived lives.

He didn't tell her but sometimes she still cried in her sleep. It would take time to undo the pain that he had inflicted on them.

* * *

In the end, she had been his saving grace.

While physical wounds had closed and sewn together, Rey had never stopped bleeding. Even after she had been raised from the dead, her soul had continued to bleed. Her soul had been fractured and the unearthly wounds had left a stain on space and time. Her melancholy had screamed, calling out during their years apart.

It had demanded retribution.

It had demanded answers.

Where was the man she loved? Where was he in the Force?

They had been destined to balance the Force together. On the blood and sacrifices of those who had come before them, they had triumphed. But where was their due?

Nowhere.

Instead, they'd been punished for following what they'd been bid to do. The imbalance of their separation divided the galaxies into an ungoverned universe. The darkness could no longer be contained. The light could no longer be a balm to the misery of the darkness. She was a bride who could not find the groom she'd been promised to and her soul was angry.

Where had he gone? Where had they taken him?

Again and again, her soul had presented her case in anger, in pain, in defeat into the abyss.

The Force heard her and finally answered the call.

With purple flame, they'd been rebirthed in the Force. The bond reestablished to restore balance.

A dyad once again.

* * *

When the bond had rewoven between their souls, Rey confessed that it had felt like a warm cup of tea pouring into her being. A warmth she had described as love. Her words melted his heart further because that love had come from him.

Since the separation, Ben had been cold. He had been a corpse with a beating heart. Nothing could warm him from the inside out. His parents in one life had described it as poor circulation from a heart condition. They had been doctors and tried for most of their lives to account for the strange phenomena with science. Another set of parents had claimed that stone surrounded his heart blocking out all the things that could bring him joy. They were hippies who liked to use words like chakra and inner peace. He was too young to understand but in adulthood, he had agreed. He'd been blocked from happiness. He'd been broken.

When he had found Rey's hand in the purple flames, his heart had stopped beating. Confused, he thought he was dying. One look into the hazel eyes that had haunted him and he had found salvation. His heart had jolted awake, set free from a prison of his making. His body, alive for the first time in years, filled with a new life giving blood and poured into her.

And it had continued to pour.

They were a dyad again. That was all that mattered.

His palm traced the curve of her naked belly and the life that lived there. A life they had both created.

"You just can't keep your hands off me, can you?" Rey murmured sleepily.

He chuckled, "Now that you're mine, I have to make sure you don't escape."

She raised herself until their eyes met, "I'm yours, Ben. I'm never leaving you again."

He leaned in to kiss her lips, unsure that this could be real.

She pulled back on a grin, "Even if all you do is sex me up."

"You love when I sex you up," he defended in his Scottish brogue.

She frowned and rubbed her belly uncomfortably, "I'm not so sure about that anymore."

"I'm going to have to remind you again, aren't I?" Ben questioned, leaving a trail of kisses on her jawline.

He heard her soft sigh as he licked the line of her throat. He was already hard at the thought of giving her pleasure. Moving lower, he ran his hands down her sides while he focused on her engorged breasts. Her head fell back on a moan as he tugged the turgid tip with his lips and teeth. He suckled, working the hard pink nipples until Rey writhed under him.

"Please," she begged, drawing his hands between her thighs. She was still soaked from their previous lovemaking.

He revisited the path toward her mouth with lips and tongue. Guiding his cockhead between her thighs, he sucked on her chin.

"I'm going to fill you up again," he promised against her lips.

"Fuck Ben, that's so dirty." She moaned as she rolled her hips against his hardened shaft in response.

Plunging into her silken pussy, Ben groaned. He rolled his hips against her drenched folds. Nothing would ever compare. She had brought him to his knees as the dark Supreme Leader and she brought him to his knees now as a regular man. Pulling back to adjust himself, he sat up and straightened her legs against his chest

Rey cursed below him as he thrusted inside of her. He grinned as she grasped the pillows behind her head to steady herself against the waves of pleasure. She made beautiful sounds as he fucked her quivering and sensitive body. He groaned when she clenched his cock with a rhythmic wet grip. Slowing his hips, his hands ran slowly across her stomach and her breasts while she recovered.

Ben loved the way her breast felt in his palms. Soft and soon to fill with milk. She whimpered in pleasure-filled agony as he rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. Angling his hips forward, he pitched his hips harder and faster against her thighs. He was getting close and he wanted her to cum again.

Pulling her closer, he fucked into her deeper until he felt her warmth rippling across his shaft. Rey screamed his name on the final thrust, making his cock throb inside of her. Her eyes rolled as the first spasms jerked her body against his. Grunting, he filled her again as he had promised.

Their breaths were heavy and deep as they lay bonelessly against each other. Aware of his heavy weight on their future child, he shifted tiredly before pulling her against his chest.

"You're mine, Rey and I'm yours." He promised, wiping the sweat on her brow.

"I love you, Ben," she said against his heart. They fit together so well.

"And I love you." He was finally able to confess.

* * *

**Post Author's Note: **Look at all this work I got done in quarantine! I actually finished writing a series. I never thought this day would come. Full disclosure, I had no intention of giving this couple a happy ending... ever. It's called the Misery series for a reason but then TROS came out and ruined my plans. (Still waiting for some financial compensation, Disney and Lucasfilm.) From my understanding, the term Saudade is a Portuguese expression that is untranslatable. It's described as the presence of absence, a longing for someone or something that you remember fondly but know you can never experience again. It's an emotional state, a yearning for a happiness that has passed or perhaps never even existed. Hearing this, I immediately thought of our tortured and beloved hero Kylo Ren/Ben Solo. This series is dedicated to a dear friend, bluewonderlust. I hope you enjoyed all of it. Thank you again for sticking around.


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